wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
