thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
