If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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