Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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