Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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