im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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