we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
