If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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