I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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