If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
