At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
