She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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