Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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