i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
its liver damage thursday
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
