If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
