I just made out with a guy for $7.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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