He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
