Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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