Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
