Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
