I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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