ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You are the jesus of drinking
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
