you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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