I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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