My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
