I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
