Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
