after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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