I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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