what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
