i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
