I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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