yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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