you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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