My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
