3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
