I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
vagina is talking i cant
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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