even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Will exercising make me less horny?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
