We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
