No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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