She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
