i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize