i was rollin on her like bob the builder
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
