First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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