I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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