elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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