Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
