Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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