we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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