dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
