Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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