Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
