It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
