I will die if light touches me.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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