I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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