i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize