So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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