Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
