Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
