Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just want nice things and good sex
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
