I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the condom got lost in my hair
i love accidental penises.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Randomize
