i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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