Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize